Q: What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a condom?

A: Condoms have changed. They’re no longer thick and insensitive!


Q: Why are Boyfriends like parking spaces?

A: The good ones are already taken!


Q: What is the difference between motorbike and boyfriend?

A: Well, bike is first kicked than used and boyfriend is first used than kicked.


Q: What does a penis and a boyfriend have in common?

A: All men have one! Girlfriend: Wanna see a magic trick? Boyfriend: Sure, babe. Girlfriend: BAM! You’re single.


  1. How can you tell if your boyfriend is happy?
  2. Who cares?


Q: What do you call a man made out of garbage?

A: Your ex-boyfriend!


  1. When would you want a man’s company?
  2. When he owns it!


  1. How do you get your boyfriend to do sit-ups?
  2. Put the remote control between his toes. Do you know how to tell if your boyfriend is geting fat? He can wear your husbands clothes…


Q: What book do women like the most?

A: “Their boyfriends paycheck!”


Q: Why do only 10 percent of boyfriends make it to heaven?

A: Because if they all went, it would be called hell. My boyfriend likes to eat vegetables that looks like him for dinner. Good thing he’s a cute-cumber.


Q: How can you tell when your boyfriend is well hung?

A: When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.


Q: Did you hear about the new “morning after” pill for boyfriends?

A: It changes their DNA.


Q: Why are boyfriends like cars?

A: Because they always pull out before they check to see if anyone else is cumming.


Q: How many ex-boyfriends does it take to tile a bathroom?

A: Two – if you slice them very thinly.


Q: How do boyfriends exercise on the beach?

A: By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini


Q: What do a good employee and a boyfriend have in common?

A: They’re always coming early.


Q: What does a boyfriend and mascara have in common?

A: They both run at the first sign of emotion.


Q: What is the difference between a sofa and a boyfriend watching Monday Night Football?

A: The sofa doesn’t keep asking for beer.


Q: What’s a boyfriends definition of a romantic evening?

A: Sex.


Q: What do you call a boyfriend who Masterbates more than twice a day?

A: A Terrorwrist


Q: How does a boyfriend show he’s planning for the future?

A: He buys an extra case of beer.


Q: What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis?

A: A Boyfriend.


Q: What is a major turnoff?

A: When your boyfriend talks about his ex.


Q: Why does your boyfriend have a hole in their penis?

A: So their brains can get some oxygen now and then.


Q: What’s a boyfriends idea of honesty in a relationship?

A: Telling you his real name.


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