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Boyfriend Jokes

Q: What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a condom?

A: Condoms have changed. They’re no longer thick and insensitive!

 

Q: Why are Boyfriends like parking spaces?

A: The good ones are already taken!

 

Q: What is the difference between motorbike and boyfriend?

A: Well, bike is first kicked than used and boyfriend is first used than kicked.

 

Q: What does a penis and a boyfriend have in common?

A: All men have one! Girlfriend: Wanna see a magic trick? Boyfriend: Sure, babe. Girlfriend: BAM! You’re single.

 

  1. How can you tell if your boyfriend is happy?
  2. Who cares?

 

Q: What do you call a man made out of garbage?

A: Your ex-boyfriend!

 

  1. When would you want a man’s company?
  2. When he owns it!

 

  1. How do you get your boyfriend to do sit-ups?
  2. Put the remote control between his toes. Do you know how to tell if your boyfriend is geting fat? He can wear your husbands clothes…

 

Q: What book do women like the most?

A: “Their boyfriends paycheck!”

 

Q: Why do only 10 percent of boyfriends make it to heaven?

A: Because if they all went, it would be called hell. My boyfriend likes to eat vegetables that looks like him for dinner. Good thing he’s a cute-cumber.

 

Q: How can you tell when your boyfriend is well hung?

A: When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.

 

Q: Did you hear about the new “morning after” pill for boyfriends?

A: It changes their DNA.

 

Q: Why are boyfriends like cars?

A: Because they always pull out before they check to see if anyone else is cumming.

 

Q: How many ex-boyfriends does it take to tile a bathroom?

A: Two – if you slice them very thinly.

 

Q: How do boyfriends exercise on the beach?

A: By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini

 

Q: What do a good employee and a boyfriend have in common?

A: They’re always coming early.

 

Q: What does a boyfriend and mascara have in common?

A: They both run at the first sign of emotion.

 

Q: What is the difference between a sofa and a boyfriend watching Monday Night Football?

A: The sofa doesn’t keep asking for beer.

 

Q: What’s a boyfriends definition of a romantic evening?

A: Sex.

 

Q: What do you call a boyfriend who Masterbates more than twice a day?

A: A Terrorwrist

 

Q: How does a boyfriend show he’s planning for the future?

A: He buys an extra case of beer.

 

Q: What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis?

A: A Boyfriend.

 

Q: What is a major turnoff?

A: When your boyfriend talks about his ex.

 

Q: Why does your boyfriend have a hole in their penis?

A: So their brains can get some oxygen now and then.

 

Q: What’s a boyfriends idea of honesty in a relationship?

A: Telling you his real name.

 

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