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Dirty Pick up Lines for Sexy Chat

If you’re into Italian food then I have some meatballs and a spaghetti for you when you come to my place.

I was standing in the ocean and my dick drowned. Can you give it mouth to mouth for me?

If we were in an elevator together what button is it to press to get you to go down?

My friend is making his own condom brand. Want to help me test it out?

Are you free tonight? No? Well how much are you then?

If you’re bored you can come sit on my lap. I’m sure something will pop up eventually.

I heard you wanted to be a zookeeper. Well come over here and give me some meat.

Your boobs keep staring at my eyes.

I just had a meeting with a shaman and he said my spirit animal is a horse. Want to ride me?

Want to play doctor at your place tonight? I’ll be the gynecologist.

I’m going down in history for being the best at going down on women.

My friend poked a hole in one of my condoms. We should test all of themselves to find out.

Everyone calls me a dick. That means you’ll have sex with me right?

Are you a farmer because you have a nice cock.

Other than me, what’re you going to do today?

Hey when do you get off today? Can I watch you?

Flip a coin and see if I can get head or not.

You know what my favorite thing in women is? Me.

I’m roleplaying as santa and I have something’s special in my sack for you.

You’re going to have to pay for dry cleaning my pants because you’re too sexy.

I heard making the bed rock during sex makes the boogie man scared.

If the saying is that we’re fish in the sea then I’m a massive hump whale.

You don’t need to go to the gym today when you can come over and have an arm and cardio workout.

I was going to go solo in bed tonight, want to come over and have a session?

We should travel the world and see how many places we can do it

Are you a pornstar? No? Do you want to be one?

There’s a sale going on at my house tonight, clothes are 100 percent off all night.

I left some sex back at your house. Can I swing by and get it sometime?

Want to help me in the kitchen tonight? I want to fill your buns with my cream.

I’m going to do you like a laundromat and put my dirty loads in you.

I’m going to need to play bongos on that butt tonight.

Are you the type to use extra virgin oil or extra horny oil?

If your crotch was the gym I’d hit the punching bag all day.

Did you know that people who make out burn 6.4 calories a minute? Do you want to work out with me?

If I had garden I’d But your two lips and my two lips together.

I’m not extra virgin olive oil, I’m the slutty olive oil.!

You remind me of my pinky toe.. Your small, cute and I’m probably going to bang you on my coffee table later tonight.

Your breasts must be made of sand… because I want to bury my head in them.

Do you have a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them!

You like sleeping? Hey, me too! We should do it together!

Well, you can get that feeling again and you don’t have to worry about a thing, because I have done all the LEGWORK for you already, my dear.!

I’d like to use your thighs as earmuffs.

I’ll treat you like my homework. I’ll slam you on the table and do you all night long.

Is your butt dialing? Because I swear that ass is calling me.

You know how they say skin is the largest organ on the human body? Not in my case.

You remind me of my chopstick Cuz you da balm.

Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.

You can call me Nemo, because I’m never afraid to touch the but*.

Your daddy must have been a baker, because you’ve got a nice set of buns.

Are you a washing machine? Because I wanna fill you with my dirty load

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