Q: What is a drunk man’s idea of a balanced diet?
A: A Budweiser in each hand!
Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan?
A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!
Q: What did the bartender say after Charles Dickens ordered a martini?
A: “Olive or twist?”
Q: What did the bartender say after a book walked into the bar?
A: “Please, no stories!”
- Why did God invent Jameson whiskey?
- So the Irish would never rule the world!
Q: What do Russians get when mixing Holy Water with Vodka?
A: The Holy Spirit!
Q: What did the man with slab of asphalt under his arm order?
A: “A beer please, and one for the road.”
Q: Why did Mexicans create tequila?
A: So ugly people would have a chance at having sex!
Q: What has eight arms and an IQ of 60?
A: Four guys drinking Bud Light and watching a football game!
Q: How many men does it take to open a Budweiser bottle?
A: none. the lady should already have it open on the table!
Q: How can you find the guy who drank a case of Coors Light?
A: He’s the one dancing like an asshole!
Q: How do you know a man is really really gay?
A: When he’s nursing a Bacardi Breezer!
Q: What’s the difference between a G-Spot and a bottle of Jack Daniels?
A: A guy will actually SEARCH for a bottle of Jack Daniels.
Q: How does a man show he’s planning for the future?
A: He buys two cases of Miller Lite instead of one.
Q: Why does Corona go through your system so fast?
A: Because it does not have to stop to change color
Q: How do you find a man in a bar who is sensitive, caring and good looking?
A: He’s nursing a Mike’s Hard Lemonade and is acting super super gay!
Q: What is the difference between a sofa and a man watching Monday Night Football?
A: The sofa doesn’t keep asking for Bud Light!
Q: What is the similarity between Michelob Ultra and having sex in a rowboat?
A: They are both SO close to water!
Q: What do blondes and bottle of Corona have in common?
A: Their both empty from the neck up!
Q: Why are Men like coolers?
A: Load them with Bud Light, and you can take them anywhere!
Q: What does a shot of Everclear and a Woman have in common?
A: Both of them make men start talking nonsense!
Q: Why don’t Democrats drink?
A: It interferes with their suffering!
Q: Why do gynecologists only drink Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer and Smirnoff Vodka?
A: “Pabst Smir!”
Q: Why doesn’t Simon Cowell drink whiskey?
A: Because it makes him mean!