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I must still be a moisture farmer… Cuz I’m getting you wet.
You don’t have to say LUMOS MAXIMA to turn me on.
You’re so perfect and easy to handle they must have made Barbie after you.
Hey my parents need your number because they need to know where I’m going to be tonight.
If you were a shoe then you’d be Nike and we’d just do it.
Weren’t you on America’s next top model? Oh, you could be.
Are we both robots with magnetic charges? Because it looks like I’m only attracted to you.
You’re the narrator of my story because you’re the only one I listen to.
I’m following you everywhere now because we need to follow our dreams.
Out of all the things I could change about you it’d have to be your last name.
If I let you pinch me then you’d see that I was made out of boyfriend material.
Did you used to work with a magician or something? Because everything else fades away when I look at you.
It’s a good thing I don’t have diabetes because you’re the sweetest person I know.
Life without you is just like life without having a penis, it’s pointless.
You must be freshly baked because you are steaming hot.
Where’d you get your license? You’ve been driving me crazy for the longest time.
If you were a penguin then you’d be an impeccable one.
I walked by you ten times. Either this love at first sight thing isn’t real or you’re not paying attention to me.
Before we start talking, are you fine with men with small penises?
You know all the people who would put ‘I’ and ‘U’ in the alphabet are stupid. It doesn’t matter where the letters are put. Date me if you agree.
Don’t you start arguing with me. There’s going to be an uprise in my pants if you don’t stop.
I was sitting thinking for a minute of a line to impress you with. That’s the most work I’ve done for a person.
You look like a women who enjoys her doritos.
You work with Gillette? Because you’re the best a man can get right now.
Hey girl I’m trying to put a ring on it, you in? I was talking about my dick by the way.
Look at you sitting there and not talking back to me. Man we both have good taste in people, this is so us.
Are you cooking for thanksgiving holidays this year? Because I’d stuff you.
I like your new bangs and booty, so I should come bang that booty.
Just wondering… do you spit or swallow your watermelon seeds?
I go to the gym and can beat anyone who fights me. Want to go pick some flowers together?
You know how they named daddy long legs for spiders with long legs? You’re looking fine momma long legs.
You’re a sweety, I’m sweet, we should get cookie dough to eat.
Were your parents beavers? Because Dammmmm girl.
If I threw bands on you would you dance?
If you let me go down on you we can see if I can eat my way to your heart.
If you’re into Italian food then I have some meatballs and a spaghetti for you when you come to my place.
I was standing in the ocean and my dick drowned. Can you give it mouth to mouth for me?
If we were in an elevator together what button is it to press to get you to go down?
My friend is making his own condom brand. Want to help me test it out?
Are you free tonight? No? Well how much are you then?
If you’re bored you can come sit on my lap. I’m sure something will pop up eventually.
I heard you wanted to be a zookeeper. Well come over here and give me some meat.
Your boobs keep staring at my eyes.
I just had a meeting with a shaman and he said my spirit animal is a horse. Want to ride me?
Want to play doctor at your place tonight? I’ll be the gynecologist.
I’m going down in history for being the best at going down on women.
My friend poked a hole in one of my condoms. We should test all of themselves to find out.
Everyone calls me a dick. That means you’ll have sex with me right?
Are you a farmer because you have a nice cock.
Other than me, what’re you going to do today?