Booty Jokes

What do you get when cross a donkey and an onion? A piece of ass that’ll bring a tear to your eye!

I only trust people who like big butts……They cannot lie.

What was the movie “Superbad” originally about? A heart-warming tale about Kim Kardashian’s ass!

How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck? When you pull her pants down her ass is still in them

What do you call an artist with a brown finger? Piccassole

According to Apple what is the leading cause of iphones overheating? Downloading images of Jen Selter’s booty!

If you had a donkey and I had a chicken and if your donkey ate my chicken what will you have? Three feet of my cock up your ass.

What Do You Take When Your Butt Hurts? Assprin

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass.

What is the definition of Confidence? When your wife catches you in bed with another woman and you slap her on the ass and say, “You’re next Baby… !”

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.

Why did Little Ms Mufffet push Humpty Dumpty off the wall? Because she wanted to see his crack!

Did you hear about the plastic surgeon who totally removed a woman’s buttocks? It was a Disass-ter.

What do you get when you combine samarium, argon, tellurium, asenic, and sulfur? SmArTe AsS.

What do you call a couple of nuns and a blonde? Two tight ends and a wide receiver.

There was a book called Sliding Down the Banister, By Major Arssore (Made-Your-Ars-Sore)

What Mary J Blige song does Nicki Minaj like to cover? Take Me Ass I am.

Did you hear about Nicki Minaj? She won a booty pageant.

What’s the last thing to go through a bug’s mind as it hits the windshield? His ass.

Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say “don’t” and if he touches your butt say “stop”? Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said “don’t stop”

Wanna hear a joke that will make you laugh your ass off? Oh wait I see you already heard it.

Jen Selter’s ass is so big, when she were born, the doctor said “Congratulations! Twins!”

Yo mama so ugly she has the booty of a stripper and the face of a trucker.

 

Roses are Red, Foxes are clever, I like your butt, Let Me Touch It Forever

I love you with all my butt, I would say heart but my butt is bigger.

 

A boss is like a babies diaper always on your ass and always filled with sh*t

Whoever invented yoga pants deserves a medal.

 

When a man impales you through the ass, it hurts like hell, when a woman impales you through the ass, its emasculation If you didn’t want me to stare at your booty, you shouldn’t have worn yoga pants.

 

I heard the Kardashians are booty-ful.

 

Yo mama’s ass is so hairy they have it on a sign at Yellowstone saying “Don’t feed the bears”

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Boob Jokes

Q: What’s the origin of the phrase “Boob”?

A: The “B” is the aerial view, the “oo” is the entrance view, the “b” is the facet view.

 

Q: What do toys and boobs have in frequent?

A: They had been each initially made for teenagers, however dad finally ends up taking part in with them!

 

Q: What did saggy boob say to the opposite saggy boob?

A: “If we do not get some help right here persons are going to assume had been nuts.”

 

Q: What sort of bees produce milk?

A: Boobies!

 

Q: What do you name a girl who provides a 3rd boob?

A: A chestnut.

 

Q: What did the bra say to the hat?

A: You go on a head whereas I give these two a elevate!

 

Q: Why did God give girls breasts?

A: So males would take to them!

 

Q: What did the ghost say to the hornets?

A: BOO bees.

 

Q: What do you name the house inbetween Pamela Anderson’s breasts?

A: Silicon Valley.

 

Q: What do you name a nanny with a breast implants?

A: A Fake pair.

 

Q: Why are redheads flat chested?

A: It makes it simpler to learn their T- shirts

 

Q: What do you name similar boobs?

A: Identitties.

 

Q: What do you name a redhead with giant breasts?

A: A mutant.

 

Q: How are a blonde’s breasts and a pad alike?

A: Neither are recomended for the seaside and each come in numerous absorbency ranges.

 

Q: What does a 75 12 months previous girl have between her breasts that a 25 12 months previous does not?

A: Her navel.

 

Q: What’s blue and has 100 nipples?

A: The dumpster on the most cancers clinic.

 

Q: What did one boob say to the opposite boob?

A: You are my breast pal.

 

Q: Why was the mermaid sporting sea shells?

A: Her boobs had been too massive for B shells.

 

Q: Why did God give girls boobs and nipples?

A: To make suckers out of males! What do name the moisture on Dolly Parton’s chest? Mountain DEw

 

Q: What do you name that patch of hair between an previous ladys tits?

A: Her snatch.

 

Q: What does Kentucky Fried Rooster and a girl have in frequent?

A: In case you take away the legs and the breast you are left with a smelly greasy field?

 

Q: Why did the Blonde have sq. boobs?

A: She forgot to take the tissues out of the field.

 

Q: Whats massive black, inside a girls, and is normally close to their boobs?

A: Tumors

 

Q: When does a waitress put on a bikini?

A: In a breasteraunt.

 

Q: What do you name a white woman with out boobs?

A: Justin Bieber

 

Q: Why was two piece swimsuit invented?

A: To separate the furry from the dairy.

 

Q: What’s America’s favourite pastime?

A: Tits, Clits and Base Hits.

 

Q: Why do not nuns put on bras?

A: God helps every little thing.

 

Q: Why is a push up bra like a bag of chips?

A: You open it and its half empty

 

Q: What do you name a girl with just one boob?

A: One in a Melon.

 

Q: When is the final time most chubby males have touched a breast?

A: In a KFC bucket A push up bra is sort of a bag of chips You open it and its half empty

 

Q: What occurs whenever you push two large boobs collectively?

A: you create an asteroid. ( . )( . ) = ( . )

 

I used to be as soon as slapped within the face by a woman with twelve nipples. Sounds bizarre, dozen tit?

School Soccer video games are like boobs. Large or small, they’re each nice; Besides once they’re lopsided.

 

Boy: In case you had no legs, would you put on socks?

Lady: No.

Boy: Then why do you put on a bra when you haven’t any boobs?

 

Boy asks his new scorching step mom: “What do you feed your child?”

Step mom: “Milk and orange juice.”

Boy: “Which facet is orange juice?”

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Top 50 Dirty Pick Up Lines

My dick just died, can I bury it in your vagina?

 

Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass!

 

Hi, i’m a burgular… and I’m gonna smash your back door in!

 

You can call me “The Fireman”….mainly because I turn the hoes on!

 

I’m a zombie, can I eat you out?

 

I wish you were soap so I could feel you all over me.

 

I’m a businessman. I work in orifices, got any openings?

 

“Wanna go on an ate with me? I’ll give you the D later.”

 

I heard you got a boyfriend, but girl don’t try & pretend, like you don’t want this dick all the way in.

 

I may not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you.

 

Girl, you should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a weiner stand.

 

Hello, I’m bisexual. I’d like to BUY you a drink…and then get sexual

 

Hey do you have an inhaler? Cause you got that ass ma!

 

I’m going to have sex with you later, so you might as well be there!

 

They’re called “eyebrows” cus my eyes are browsin your fine ass

 

Babe, are you an elevator? Because i want to go down on you.

 

Roses or daises? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.

 

“If you were a washing machine, I would put my dirty load inside you.”

 

I heard your grades are bad…..I’m sure this D won’t hurt.

 

Is your name Tanya? Cuz I’m gonna tan ya ass.

 

You run track?, cause I heard you relay want this dick.

 

Are you a racehorse? Cause when I ride you’ll always finish first.

 

Are u a flight attendant? Coz u gonna be plane wth this dick soon.

 

The last woman I was with said, “Kiss me where it stinks.” So, I drove her to New Jersey.

 

I heard you like Magic, well bend over and watch my dick disappear

 

Your so hot I’d jack your dad off just to see where you came from.

 

I blame your perfect breasts for my inability to focus during our conversations.

 

Can I park my car in your garage? It’s pretty big, but it doesn’t leak.

 

Do you like Adele? Cause I can tell you wanna be rolling in the D.

 

Do you like to draw? (yeah why?) Cause I put the D in Raw

 

Has any one ever told you your ass looks like a phone cause I want to hit the pound button all day long.
I have a tongue like an anteater; want to go to the zoo?

 

What do you call a penguin with a large penis? An icebreaker.

 

I know you haven’t been studying, You must want the “D”

 

Baby your bone structure is giving my “bone” structure.

 

Do you like tapes and CDs? (I guess) Good, ’cause Imma tape this dick to your forehead so you CDs nuts

 

I’m not a dick in real life, but I’ll play one in your vagina tonight!

 

Your ass is pretty tight, want me to loosen it up?

 

I’m like Domino’s Pizza. If I don’t cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.

 

Does your pussy smell like fish because I like sushi

 

Looks don’t matter, I’ll just wrap you in a flag and fuck you for glory.

 

Do you like cherries? If not can I have yours?

 

I’d treat you like a snow storm. Give you six to eight inches and make it mildly inconvenient for you to move in the morning.

 

I hope you have a sewing machine, cause im gonna tear dat ass up

 

Are you an architect?, cause I want you on staff for my next erection.

 

I hope your a plumber, cause you got my pipe leaking.

 

Yeah. I’m an asshole, but will that stop me from getting in yours?

 

I hope your a plumber, cause you got my pipe leaking.

 

I think my allergies are acting up. Cuz everytime your around my dick swells up.

 

Wanna see my third leg?

 

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