The funny insults available! Our lists of the 35 top funny insults, we suggest if you decide to use them do it with extreme caution!
1. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
2. Your family tree must be a cactus because everybody on it is a prick.
3. It’s better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.
4. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
5. The only way you’ll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken’s ass and wait.
6. I’m jealous of people that don’t know you!
7. My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.
8. If I wanted to kill myself I’d climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
9. Brains aren’t everything. In your case they’re nothing.
10. I don’t know what makes you so stupid, but it really works.
11. Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?
12. Behind every fat woman, there is a beautiful woman. No seriously, you’re in the way.
13. You, sir, are an oxygen thief!
14. Don’t like my sarcasm, well I don’t like your stupid.
15. Please shut your mouth when you’re talking to me.
16. They say opposites attract. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured.
17. The last time I saw something like you, I flushed it.
18. You have Diarrhea of the mouth; constipation of the ideas.
19. Your mind is on vacation but your mouth is working overtime.
20. Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable… like a coma.
21. If your gonna be two-faced, honey at least makes one of them pretty.
22. You are not as bad as people say, you are much, much worse.
23. You get ten times more girls than me? ten times zero is zero…
24. You’re the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.
25. How old are you? – Wait I shouldn’t ask, you can’t count that high.
26. You’re like Monday mornings, nobody likes you.
27. All day I thought of you… I was at the zoo.
28. You’re so fat, you could sell shade.
29. My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
30. If you really spoke your mind, you’d be speechless.
31. You are so old, when you were kid rainbows were black and white.
32. You so dumb, you think Cheerios are doughnut seeds.
33. You are so old, your birth-certificate expired.
34. You’re so dumb that you got hit by a parked car.
35. Wipe your mouth, there’s still a tiny bit of bullshit around your lips.