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The Beast Dirty Pickup Lines

I know a great way to burn off the calories in that pastry you just ate.

Do you like Wendy’s? Cause you’re gonna love Wendy’s nuts slap yo face!

Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna go down on you.

Is your name daisy? Because I have a sudden urge to plant you right here!

Does your ass have Allstate insurance? [No, why?] Well do you want it to be in good hands?

I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?

You have been very naughty. Go to my room!

Let me insert my plug into your socket and we can generate some electricity.

Don’t ever change. Just get naked.

Are those jeans Guess? Cause guess who wants to be inside them…

I must expel some seminal fluid. May I use your body?

Hold out two fingers and say: “Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?” (I don’t know.) “‘Cause they’re mine sweetheart.”

Do you like bacon? Wanna strip?

Hey there, I just took some Cialis and I have 18 hours left.

Are you the SAT? Cause I’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes, with a ten-minute break in the middle for snacks.

I wanna put my thingy into your thingy.

Judging by your hair, you seem like a girl who likes to do anal.

I’m gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.

I’d like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.

Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.

I would absolutely love to swap bodily fluids with you.

Let’s go to my place and do the things I’ll tell everyone we did anyway.

Are you the lottery lady on TV, because I’m picturing you holding up my balls.

Damn girl I’d love to kiss those beautiful, luscious lips. And the ones on your face.

The things I would do if I got a few roofies in you.

Damn, are you, my new boss, because you just gave me a raise.

You’re so hot you could make a deceased man’s dick rise from the dead!

I have a job for you, but it blows!

Do you have a shovel? Cause I’m diggin’ that ass!

Judging by your hair, you seem like a girl who likes to do anal.

As long as I have a face, you’ll have a place to sit.

You must be yogurt because I want to spoon you.

Do you like tapes and CD’s? Cause I’m gonna tape this dick to your forehead so you CD’s nuts.

Do you like soda? Because I’d mount-and-do you. (Mountain Dew)

Is it hot in here, or are your boobs just huge.

I’m peanut butter, you’re jelly, let’s have sex.

If it’s true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by tomorrow morning.

Pizza is my second favourite thing to eat in bed.

Call me Chris Brown, cause I’d hit that!

They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what that p*ssy needs.

You’re so hot I could roast my meat on you, baby.

You must be Jelly, cause jam don’t shake like that.

I heard your ankles were having a party… want to invite your pants down?

Remember my name, because you’ll be screaming it later!

Nice shoes, wanna f**k?

The word of the day is “legs.” Let’s go back to my place and spread the word.

We’re going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and f**k.

What can I do to make you sleep with me?

Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?

Nice tits. Mind if I squeeze them?

Do you believe in karma? Because I know some good karma-sutra positions.

Wanna go bowling? I’ll give you a chance to pin me.

Are you a shark? Cause I’ve got some swimmers for you to swallow.

Are you jewish? Cause the way you’re looking at me, I’m beginning to think Jewish this dick was in your mouth.

Do you work for Papa Johns? Cause you’re a fine pizza ass.

Girl, are you a witch? Cause you know how to make something stand without even touching it

Oh, you’re a bird watcher. [Pull out your dong] Well, would you take this for a swallow?

Your bone structure is giving my bone structure.

Is your name winter? Because you’ll be coming soon.

Are you from China? Cause I’m China get in your pants.

Do you like Pizza Hut? Cause I’ll stuff your crust.

Since we’ve been told to reduce waste these days, what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.

[Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say] “Now that I’ve broken the ice, will you sleep with me?”

The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to f**k you on the floor.

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